Why tracking baby’s feeding and sleep patterns is making you more anxious

There’s an app for everything! in this digital age, it’s no surprise that many breastfeeding mums turn to apps to track their baby’s feeding and sleep patterns. These tools can sometimes give helpful insights, but they often also contribute to increased anxiety and unnecessary stress for both you and your baby. In this blog post, we’ll explore why tracking feeds and sleeps in an app may be causing more harm than good and discuss the importance of observing your baby’s cues rather than relying solely on a clock.

Making Problems Where There Are None

By meticulously tracking every feed and sleep session, mums can easily start to sense problems that may not actually exist. Our expectations of baby feeding and sleep patterns are built from what we see on TV and online and are far from what is biologically normal for a baby. The constant need to meet specific time intervals or quantities can lead to you feeling like a failure as a parent and constantly doubting yourself. Remember, every baby is unique, and their needs can vary from day to day. Instead of fixating on rigid schedules or wake windows (which aren’t evidence based at all btw), it’s crucial to trust your instincts as a mum and focus on the overall well-being of your baby.

There are some cases when tracking apps can be helpful. When my first baby was a newborn and wasn’t gaining enough weight, my midwife asked me nearly every day how many times bub had fed and how many wet and dirty nappies he’d had. In the newborn haze I had no idea! The minutes, hours and days blended together, and I couldn’t work out what was today or yesterday. I found the app really helpful in this case, because it was important information to help figure out what was going wrong. But it’s so easy to fall into the trap of overanalysing the patterns (speaking from experience here!) which quickly becomes unhelpful and sometimes even damaging to your breastfeeding journey and mental health. 

If you’re worried about your baby’s breastfeeding patterns, check out this blog post about how to tell if your baby is breastfeeding well.

Baby Feeding and Sleep Patterns Change, Just Like Ours

Just as adults vary in their eating and sleep patterns, babies also go through natural cycles and changes. Trying to enforce strict routines based on what you think your baby’s pattern should be; what someone else has told you their patterns should be; or what they did yesterday; can result in unnecessary stress for both mum and baby. It’s important to remember that flexibility is key when it comes to nurturing your little one. Embrace the natural ebb and flow of your baby’s needs and ride the wave instead of trying to fight against it.

Babies Are Humans Too

Babies are unique individuals with their own preferences; feeding and sleep patterns and needs; and growth and development patterns. Their appetite and sleep patterns can fluctuate based on many different factors, including growth, teething, and developmental leaps. Recognizing that babies have needs that are individual to them and that these needs can change over time will help ease anxiety and foster a more harmonious breastfeeding and parenting experience. Trust that your baby knows their own hunger and sleep needs and follow their lead. Be wary of any person, baby book or article that tells you your baby should fit into a certain box when it comes to their feeding, sleeping and behaviour patterns. We, as adults have individual needs and patterns and so does your baby.

Fighting Against Biological Behaviour

Breastfeeding is a biological process that relies on the delicate dance between a mother and her baby. Engaging in rigid scheduling and clock-watching can disrupt your milk supply and the natural rhythm and connection between you and your little one. Breastfeeding is not just about nourishment; it’s a profound bonding and connection experience that should be nurtured with love and responsiveness. By observing your baby’s cues and responding to their needs in the present moment, you can strengthen the breastfeeding relationship as well as their connection and feeling of safety with you.

The same goes for sleep. In adults, sleep patterns vary between each individual person. While one person can function well on 6 hours of sleep, others NEED that full 8 hours to get by. Our babies are the same. Some might need an hour or two to fully rest and reset, others only need 30 mins. Your baby is not broken if they don’t sleep or feed in nice evenly spaced 3 hourly chunks.

Surrendering to your baby’s needs rather than banging your head against a metaphorical brick wall trying to get your baby to do something that’s not natural or helpful for them can be a saviour to your own mental health and wellbeing. This isn’t easy for many of us to do (including me!), since society has us so used to being on schedules of our own. We’ve forgotten how to listen to our body telling us what it needs, and we’re doing the same thing with our babies.

Watch Your Baby, Not the Clock

Instead of constantly monitoring an app or clock, which can make you feel frustration or dread when your alone or sleep time is cut short, shift your focus to watching and understanding your baby. Watch and learn their cues, such as rooting, hand-to-mouth movements, or eye fluttering, which show hunger. Similarly, pay attention to their body language, yawns, and eye-rubbing signalling tiredness. By being attuned to your baby’s needs, you can develop a deeper connection and respond quickly when they need you, ensuring they feel secure and comforted.

While tracking feeds and sleeps in an app may initially seem like a helpful tool, it can lead to increased anxiety and unnecessary pressure for mums. Remember that every baby is unique, and their needs can vary from day to day. Embrace the natural flow of your baby’s cues, trust your instincts, and focus on building a nurturing and responsive breastfeeding relationship. Instead of watching the clock, watch your baby and let them guide the way. Embrace the freedom and flexibility that comes with responding to your baby’s needs in the present moment.

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Follow your instincts mumma. You’ve got this!