This one’s a little different from me today.
I just found out this week my Dad has cancer.
And even though the doctors are very positive he’ll get through this, I’m terrified for him and heartbroken that he and Mum have to go through this.
I’m finding myself sitting here trying to write a blog post about breastfeeding a premature baby and staring blankly at the screen.
I’ve done A LOT of inner work on being kind to and looking after myself and my own needs over this last few years, instead of what I was doing when I had my babies…
Prioritising everyone else and not looking after myself at all.
I’ve gotten a lot better at it, but today as I am noticing my body and mind needs me to step away from work even just for the day to take all this in and reset, I’m feeling so much guilt!
People need me! I have so much I need to get done!
I’ve been wandering around the house most of the day in stuck mode trying write a blog post but not being able to, and then not being able to do anything else because I should be working…
It got me thinking about how I’ve changed over the years.
I don’t listen to the “shoulds” anymore.
What I “should” be doing, what a good mum “should” do, what my house “should” look like… The “shoulds” are endless if you choose to listen to them and they will make you miserable.
Instead, what I’ve learned over the last few years is:
- Do what makes you happy (even more important to me now since Dad’s diagnosis!)
- Do what feels right to you (and don’t worry about what others think)
- I am as important as my kids and am worthy of being looked after as well
- It (life/house/kids’ behaviour) doesn’t have to look like what I expect, and those things are not a reflection of me as a person or a mum.
- If you’re not ok, ask for help!
If you struggle with mum guilt and all the “shoulds” take this as your sign to let it go. I hope the lessons I’ve learned help you enjoy motherhood and life so much more and you’ve learned the lessons way earlier than I did (I may be a little late to the party at 36 years old with kiddos who are 9 and 6 years old!)
It got to around lunch time when I decided to just let it go. To look after me.
A little late on a day when my mind and body was strongly telling me that’s what I needed, but I got there.
And I hope you get there too.
Give yourself the space you need, and you might just find things come to you more easily, just like this blog post did.
Sending so much love to you ❤
Please share this with another mumma who needs to hear this!
If you have questions or concerns, you might like to get in touch with an IBCLC to help you to work out what’s going on and develop a plan that suits your individual situation. You can book a home visit or online consultation with me below.
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