Partner Feeding and Breastfeeding: Finding the Right Balance

Are you hoping to breastfeed and pump so your partner can feed baby with a bottle? How to do this is one of the most common questions I get from mummas-to-be . But did you know that having your partner bottle-feed with pumped milk often isn’t the shared load or break you were hoping for? As an experienced mum and lactation consultant, I’ve seen many new mums excited about sharing feeding duties with their partners, only to realise it adds more to their plate than they bargained for. In this post, I’ll cover why this balance can be tricky and offer practical tips to make it work for you and your baby if you feel it’s the right path for you and your family.

Balancing Partner Feeding: Managing Expectations and Realities

Having your partner help with feeding might seem like a good way to share caring for your baby. But some mums find it actually adds more work and takes up more time than they thought. If your partner feeds the baby with pumped milk, you’ll need to pump at the same time to keep making enough milk. This is because your breasts need to be emptied often to keep producing milk, whether your baby is nursing or you’re using a pump. In saying that, some mums do find that the extra work of pumping is worth it to have a little time to themselves.

Why It Matters

Understanding how pumping and having your partner feed with a bottle can impact breastfeeding is crucial. It helps you to put strategies in place to keep making enough milk for your baby and saves your precious time and energy in those exhausting early weeks. Knowing this prepares you for challenges, guides your decisions, and affects how long you breastfeed—key for your baby’s health, your well-being, and bonding. Early knowledge boosts confidence, making breastfeeding more enjoyable for both you and your baby.

How to Make It Work

If you decide that having your partner bottle feed baby with your pumped milk, here are some tips:

Establish a Pumping Routine

Start by incorporating pumping sessions into your daily routine. Many mums find it helpful to pump right after breastfeeding to build up a stash of expressed milk for bottle feeds.

Timing Matters

Timing is everything when it comes to introducing bottles. It’s generally recommended to wait until your milk supply is well-established, typically around 6-8 weeks postpartum. This gives you and your baby time to master breastfeeding without causing problems with your milk supply.

Risks of Bottle Preference

Introducing a bottle can sometimes lead to a baby preferring the bottle over breastfeeding. This can be really a really upsetting situation to be in. One way to avoid this is to use a cup to feed baby your pumped milk instead. There’s some information on cup feeding here. Paced bottle feeding can also help reduce the risk of bottle preference by slowing the flow of the bottle. Read more about that here. 

But What About Partner Bonding?

While feeding is a way your partner can bond with baby, there are lots of other ways they can connect with your baby that don’t interfere with feeding and your milk supply. Encourage your partner to engage in skin-to-skin contact, bathing baby, soothing baby to sleep, or tummy time play. These activities not only strengthen their bond with the baby but also give you a well-deserved break.

Balancing breastfeeding with pumping for partner feeding can be challenging. Many mums hope it will help share baby care, but it often means more work than expected. It’s important to understand how pumping and bottle-feeding can affect breastfeeding. By learning about this early on and using these practical tips, you can make it work well for you and your baby. This will help you have a happier and smoother breastfeeding journey with your little one.

If you’re reading this and realising there might be more you need to know about breastfeeding than you thought, good news! Join my free masterclass, “The Truth About Breastfeeding: What Mums Wish They Knew Before Baby Arrived”. You’ll learn important things that can help you have a happy, calm, and beautiful bonding breastfeeding journey with your baby. Save your seat here so you don’t miss out!